No More I Love Yous

It has been 4 days since Reece's surgery and 4 days since I heard him say "I love you".

I waited over 3 years to hear him say those words and I'm not happy about losing even a few days of hearing them. I know that Reece is dealing with his surgery in his way. I can't let my mind go to what he might remember about it and his autism will never allow him to communicate it to me. Perhaps that is a blessing. But I miss my sweet angel telling me he loves me and snuggling with me. He wants me near but keeps me at a safe distance. His eyes are blank and are missing the sparkle. I miss my little guy. I miss my lovins.

I asked him if he was mad at us for making him have his tonsils out and thus being the reason that he's hurting. He just shook his head "no". After waiting so long for him to talk, it is scary to have him retreat into himself like this.

None of the books about "having your tonsils out" address it from the autistic child perspective or for the autistic child's parent. Perhaps that is a void I can help fill...

Good-Bye Tonsils

Nothing takes a mother to her knees like her child being wheeled away on a hospital gurney by strangers. Throw in a little general anesthesia and you have one hot mess crying for her baby.



Reece didn't respond to the Versed so our plan of having him nice and comfy before they wheeled him away went kaput. He was all too aware of the events going down. I'm glad I was not privy to the scene after he left the holding room. I can't even let my mind go there.

The good news is the doctor said he did beautifully and that he was well on his way to another infection so our decision to get the buggers taken out was the right one. That's supposed to make me feel better, right?

Love of My Life

Reece and I were talking about growing up and he began to show some anxiety.

He said, "I don't want to grow up and move into a new house." I told him he didn't have to do that. He asked if he could stay with me even when he was a teenager, even when he was a grown-up? I responded, "Yes."

(Ron and I often talk about plans for Reece, knowing that he may not ever want to get married and move away from home. Sometimes people on the Autism spectrum grow up and get married, sometimes they don't. We are trying to prepare for either path Reece might take.)

Reece then said, "I just can't find the love of my life." Something tells me he WILL find her some day and it makes my heart feel kind of squeezy.

Disney Trip with the Grands-Day 1

Okay, most kids don't get to go to Disney World. And the ones that do go don't get to experience it with their grandparents.

My kids got to go to Disney World with all 4 of their grandparents this past week and it was...AWESOME!!!!



It was the first airplane flight for both of the kiddos and they handled it like professionals. All of the prep work we had done in advance paid off because they both went through airport security and boarded the plane like they'd done it a million times before. They played their Nintendo DSi games and the ipad to keep busy. Reece had a little ear discomfort as we descended in Orlando but he was a trooper.

We got settled into our hotel room at the Grand Floridian (very nice) and went to sleep to rest up for our big day at the Magic Kingdom. Our morning started with breakfast at the Crystal Palace with Pooh, Tigger, Piglet, and Eeyore. It wasn't very crowded so the characters sat at the table with us and spent lots of time with the kids. Lots of fun!!!


Then it was on to Adventureland! Ava rode Alladin's Magic Carpet Ride with Nana and Nanny and then we all rode Jungle Cruise together. Our guide was great and we all loved it. We headed on over toward Cinderella's castle for our appointment at Bippity Boppity Boutique. On the way, Mickey's Move It! Shake It! Celebrate It! Parade came by. It was a little loud for Reece so he and I headed to the castle so he could become a knight while Ava watched the parade with the Grands.

Reece was so excited to become Sir Reece. He loved getting his hair spiked and having the Mickey ears painted on the back of his hair.

Then it was on to Prince Charming's Carrousel. After that, we headed over to Pooh's Hundred Acre Wood and the Mad Hatter's TeaCups! Ava, Nanny, and Nana loved that one!!!!
Now it was time for lunch at Cinderella's Castle for the girls with the princesses. Ava was tired and feeling shy but we had a lovely time with the princesses. Snow White was our favorite and she was very sweet to Ava. The guys rode Pirates of the Caribbean and Jungle Cruise again.

After lunch, it was time for Ava to go back to the hotel for some rest. Nana and Papaw went with us back to the hotel, but not before the characters did a parade in the rain! Papaw was out there getting the characters attention for Ava to get them over to her. It was so sweet.

Meanwhile, Reece, Ron, Nanny, and PopPop tried to do Haunted Mansion but Reece got scared so they just came back to the hotel too.

After a much needed rest, we decided to head to Downtown Disney for dinner at T-REX. Reece was so excited he could hardly stand it. We were seated in the ice cave and the kids had a blast. The Grands weren't quite as excited about this part of the trip and when our server asked if anyone wanted dessert, they all said, "NO!" quickly. They were definitely ready to leave T-REX. It was just a little loud in there. heehee

All day, Ava was shy and tired. She didn't want to talk to any princesses at the lunch. She literally hid under our table. But at Downtown Disney, she couldn't pose with enough of the plastic statues of Mickey, Minnie, Buzz Lightyear, Daisy, and Donald! And then, she wanted to ride the train! You know, the train that you can ride at the mall. We traveled to Disney so she could ride the mall train! Oh well. So she rode it and she smiled and giggled and loved it.


Not bad for one day of adventure! Stay tuned for tomorrow's visit to Animal Kingdom!

Snow Day

I guess I should do a Snow Week post because we were supposed to go back to school on Monday and school has been closed all week for snow.

Today we:

• Made homemade hot chocolate
• Watched movies
• Ate sandwiches cut out like dinosaurs
• Colored
• Went sledding down the hill
• Made snow angels
• Ate snow
• Snuggled
• Made frozen yogurt popsicles
• Researched Despicable Me birthday party ideas for Reece's 6th birthday
• Played dinosaurs
• Gave each hugs and shugs

I'd say we had a very productive, wonderful, fun day!

I don't want to go back to work...

Camouflage Undies

The kids and I went to Wal-Mart yesterday in an attempt to distract them from the fact that we have not been in school since Dec. 22 due to Christmas break and now snow days. So...

Reece needed some new underwear and change is hard for him. I thought for sure he'd go for the Phineas and Ferb boxer briefs but he shook his head NO immediately. NO again to Spiderman and Transformers.

To my surprise, he picked up the pack with the camouflage boxer briefs. His reason? Because he doesn't want anyone to "see" his undies! Of course! I won't be the one to tell him that I can still see him in his camo undies.

It's "to-morning"

My kids always announce the new day. Ava typically tells me it is "to-morning" which is her combo of today and morning. Today, she mixed it up a little bit. I was snoozing, listening to the house wake up. She poked me, rather hard I might add, in the sternum and announced,

"The thun comed out again."

I love that her chipped tooth makes her S words a little difficult.

She was so serious, like it was something that hadn't happened every other day of her life. I'm thankful for the thun, today and every day.